At Home, My MIL Said, My Daughter & her kid are Coming Back. You need to Move Out. When She Arrives!

The Unbearable Weight of Expectations

My name is Lori, and I’m 35 years old. I am dedicated to both my job and managing chores. It’s common for women to work after getting married, and I love my job deeply. I aim to excel in the company I joined right after graduating from college.

I had met Matthew while he was working part-time at a cafe I often visited. After several conversations, we started dating and later talked about marriage. I was filled with anticipation for my new life with Matthew.

However, he soon proposed a change, noting that my mom seemed lonely living by herself. “Why don’t we all move in together into our big house?” he suggested.

So now I live with his mother. To put it gently, she’s not exactly skilled in maintaining a household. When we first moved in, I discovered the house was somewhat neglected.

Following the passing of my father-in-law, she had begun to live off a pension. She spent most of it on dining out or ordering in. This meant the domestic duties fell to me.

Matthew, holding traditional views, seemed to think housework was a woman’s responsibility, leaving me to manage everything. Adding to the workload, Matthew’s sister Denise occasionally dropped by with her children, further expanding my list of tasks.

The weekends, which I hoped would offer some respite from the week’s fatigue, transformed into hectic periods filled with entertaining and feeding my sister-in-law’s kids.

One morning as I prepared for work, Matthew came up to me, looking worried. “Lori, can you take care of this” he handed me a file stuffed with receipts and bills. “You should get the Cafe’s finances in order”.

I smiled, trying to keep the mood light. “Sorry, I’m not good with that stuff,” I replied. Despite his business skills, he struggled with the paperwork and frequently asked me to handle it.

As I sighed, my mother-in-law piped up, “Lori, I’m craving Chinese Cuisine tonight”. “Could you make sure to rinse the rice well”. “Also, Denise and the kids are visiting this weekend, so we need to plan their meals”.

“Sure, I understand,” I nodded quickly, agreeing to her request before hurrying out the door. I was eager to escape the mounting pressure at home.

Then one day, Denise dropped a major revelation. “Lori, I’m getting divorced and we’ll be moving back here with the kids next month,” she announced. I was stunned and momentarily speechless.

“Really? Do you have something to say?” she prodded.

I managed to reply, “It must have been tough. When are you moving?”.

“I want to move as soon as possible,” she answered. Though surprised by the news of Denise and her children moving in, I harbored a hope that perhaps her presence might make the household chores more manageable.

We had a decent relationship, and I thought this change might bring us closer and encourage her to pitch in. Despite my optimistic outlook, reality soon set in differently.

Perhaps because she was raised in the same manner as my mother-in-law, Denise seemed almost allergic to housework. She spent her days lounging on the sofa, often with a snack in hand, engrossed in the TV watching.

Watching her, I couldn’t help but wonder if her aversion to domestic responsibilities had played a role in her marital troubles. Now, with the added task of preparing extra meals for her children and packing lunches for kindergarten, my workload had only grown.

My hope for assistance from Denise proved futile, a clear miss in my expectations. My free time dwindled rapidly, leaving me to reassess my situation and the dynamics within our crowded home.

At my job, the workload has ramped up significantly. Every day I start early, often do overtime, and return home completely drained. I find our living space cluttered and barely walkable. This overwhelming scene greets me daily, intensifying my exhaustion.

On top of that, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law never miss a chance to question me. “Is dinner ready yet?” or “Why are you home so late?” are common queries I face upon arriving home.

When I struggle to keep up with household chores amidst my hectic schedule, they sharply comment. “Lori, there’s a mountain of laundry waiting”. “Don’t use your busyness as an excuse to slack off”.

Inside, I’m shouting I’m trying my best, but I often choose to hold back my words. Before my sister-in-law can respond, she sometimes tries to push me further. “Lori, standing up to your mother-in-law is bold, but for the kids’ sake, please try harder to prepare homemade meals,” she suggests.

This prompts me to retort, albeit tiredly, “If you have so much free time, why not help out with the chores once in a while?”.

I’ve even overheard Matthew’s sister joking, “Haha, since Matthew owns a store, Lori doesn’t need to work, right?”. “Maybe she should try harder at home,”. Their words pile on the pressure, making me feel as though I’m expected to do more.