My MIL booked a “family” cruise for everyone except me.
The Grand Plan
She pulled out printed tickets and started handing them out. One for my husband Brett, one for his sister Amy, one for Amy’s husband, one for Brett’s brother, one for his brother’s girlfriend who’d been dating him for three months.
Then, she sat back down. I waited. “What about mine?” I asked.
Diane looked confused. “Oh, I figured you’d want to spend Christmas with your own family. You’re always talking about them.” She said. I hadn’t mentioned my family in months.
“But I’m Brett’s wife,” I said. We’ve been married for four years.
Diane shrugged. “Well, the rooms are already booked. It’s five people and the ship doesn’t allow six to a suite. You understand?” She asked. The girlfriend who’d been around for three months was going, but I wasn’t.
This wasn’t new. Diane had been doing this for years. There was the family reunion in Vegas. “Sorry, the hotel room blocks filled up,” she’d said.
Then there was the weekend at their lake house. “We assumed you were working,” she’d explained. And the wine tasting tour. “It’s really more of a blood family thing,” she’d claimed.
But a cruise was different. A whole week watching my husband leave for a vacation I wasn’t invited on.
Brett just sat there eating his potatoes. He tried to smooth it over in the car. “Maybe we can book you a ticket separately. You could get a room on a different floor,” he suggested.
I asked if he was seriously suggesting I book myself onto a cruise where his entire family already had rooms together. “What else can we do? She already paid,” he said. What he could do was obvious, but he wasn’t going to do it.
That’s when I called my father. My family had money. Real money. The kind where we had boats with names and houses in multiple countries. I’d never flaunted it because I loved Brett for who he was, not what he had.
But Diane had pushed too far. “Dad,” I said. “I need to charter the Mariana for Christmas week, the big one.”
My father didn’t even ask why. “Done. Where, too?” He asked. I told him the Caribbean, specifically the same ports the cruise was going to.
He laughed. “Someone exclude you from something?” He knew me too well.
The next Sunday dinner, Diane was going on about the cruise again, showing photos of the ship, talking about the dining room, the activities. “Such a shame you can’t come,” she said to me. “But you’ll have a nice quiet Christmas here.” She added.
I smiled. “Actually, I won’t be here. My family’s doing something that week, too.” I replied.
Diane barely looked up. “That’s nice. A little local get together.” She remarked. I pulled out my phone and showed them the yacht.
180 ft of pure luxury. “We’re taking this to the Caribbean. Same ports as your cruise, actually. What a coincidence,” I said.
Brett dropped his fork. Amy leaned in to look closer. “Is that a yacht? Like a private yacht?” Amy asked.
I nodded. “It’s one of ours. We’ll have a full crew chef. Everything. My parents, my siblings, their kids. We’re even bringing my cousin’s new boyfriend. Family’s family, you know.” I explained.
Diane’s face went through several expressions. “That must cost a fortune.” She said. I shrugged.
“Dad owns it. No cost really, just the fuel and crew,” I said. Brett suddenly got interested. “Maybe I could skip the cruise and come with you instead.” He offered.
I laughed. “Oh, no. You already have plans. Besides, it’s really more of a blood family thing. You understand?” I asked.
Diane tried to recover. “Well, cruise ships have so many more activities. Casinos, shows, multiple restaurants.” She claimed.
I kept scrolling through photos on my phone. “True. We just have the jet skis, the submarine, the helicopter for island hopping. Pretty boring compared to a cruise ship.” I conceded.
Amy’s husband was staring. “Did you say submarine?” He asked.
The best part was still coming. “Oh, and since we’ll be in the same ports, maybe we’ll see each other. We could wave from the yacht while you’re What deck are you on again?” I asked.
“Interior rooms,” Diane said. Her face was red.
“We have balcony rooms,” I pretended to think. “Right. Those tiny balconies on the side. You’ll be able to see us perfectly. The yacht usually has to anchor away from the cruise ships because we need more space.” I explained.
Brett was panic texting me under the table. “Please let me come. Please. I didn’t know you were doing this.” He texted.
I ignored him and kept talking. “My brother’s girlfriend is so excited. She’s only been dating him for a month, but family’s family, right, Diane?” I asked.
