What happened when you finally stood up to your bully?

I Snapped at My Bully

My dad’s entitled friend told me I should give my baby up for adoption because I’m a terrible mother. I snapped and humiliated him publicly, and now my dad is demanding I apologize, plus all three updates.

I was eighteen and in college when I first met my dad’s friend, Harold. He immediately acted very condescending towards me.

The first thing he said once he heard I was studying medicine was:

“Oh, so you want to save the world? How sweet. Little dumb eighteen-year-old thinks the world can be saved”.

My dad laughed in response. When I gave him a death stare for it, he doubled down. He said that what Harold said was funny.

From that day on, every time I met Harold, he’d make comments about me. He’d tell me my outfit looked awful. He called the books I like to read childish and stupid.

When he heard about my past in volleyball, he said that I probably only liked it because I could wear the spandex around the boys. My dad never stepped in to defend me either.

The final straw came the day Harold interrupted a barbecue to say:

“That’s not how you cook. Let a real man show you”.

He physically pushed me out of the way and took over. After that, I started making an effort to avoid him. I was successful for six entire years.

Well, yesterday was my father’s girlfriend’s birthday, and I went there with my fiancé and our six-month-old son. Harold was there. Even though I hadn’t seen him in years, he still talked to me as if I was a dumb child.

My child spent most of the afternoon sleeping. When he woke up hungry, I went to breastfeed him. When I came back, Harold was joking about how I was probably a terrible mother.

He started interrogating me about my parenting, calling me a bad mom in front of everyone. I finally snapped when he asked if I’d thought about giving my baby up for adoption.

I yelled at him, asking him if he knows so much about parenting, why does his ex-wife have full custody of his child. I asked him what kind of man tries to sleep with his brother’s girlfriend.

As a cherry on top, I told him:

“To lose some weight. With that gut, no wonder no woman wants to touch you with a ten-foot pole”.

I left with my fiancé and son. On the drive home, I was bombarded with texts from my dad. He was telling me to come back and apologize to Harold right now.

I told him there was no way that was happening. I asked him if he had any idea what Harold said to me.

He yelled that of course he did and asked why the hell would I get mad over him offering to make me a sandwich. My jaw dropped a gate, and I started laughing my absolute butt off.

You see, while Harold and I were having the altercation, my father was in the bathroom, so he didn’t hear anything that was said. I presume all he heard was me yelling, walking out, and slamming the door behind me.

Anyway, my dad asked me why I was laughing so much. I told him no reason. He asked me again, and this time I told him Harold was lying.

I said that I wasn’t going to tell him anything, however, and he had to call Harold to find out for himself. I then went off on him for all the times he just blindly took Harold’s side whenever he had upset me.

I stated that it wouldn’t surprise me the slightest if he didn’t even call Harold. He would just blindly take his word and disregard everything I’m saying right now.

My dad then hung up, and I went to bed that night, not hearing another thing from anyone. My fiancé did tell me he was extremely proud of me, however.

Apparently, my comments were not only badass but also funny AF. I’m happy he thinks that. I’ll start by addressing the very frequent assumption that Harold has feelings for me.

I really don’t think that’s the case. His comments always came out as annoying and condescending, but never explicit in a suggestive manner towards me.

But I will say that your comments scared the crap out of me. The fact that the general consensus was “F Harold” was weirdly heartwarming.

I also want to add that while I did regret what I said a little bit, I never doubted I’d done the right thing. I think most of my regret came from the fact that my eight years of keeping the peace were over.

It took some time for the relief to sink in. Truth be told, I’ve been wanting to do this since the barbecue incident. That was when I went from, “I don’t like that guy,” to, “I can’t stand that guy”.