My family are demanding I get back with my ex.

The Context of Conflict

I started dating my brother’s best friend when I was 16. We were together until I graduated high school when he proposed, and I rejected it. There was a lot of drama with my family asking me to reconsider because we could have a long engagement or make a promise to reconcile.

My relationship with my brother (36) suffered for a while, but the one with my sister (32) never recovered. She was sure my ex was the best fit for me and became unbearable when she started dating my ex-brother. My ex was invited everywhere by my siblings, even to some family holidays.

I didn’t say anything since he was their friend too. That is until my sister started to push for us to get back together. My sister did everything from trying to get us on blind dates to making us share a room during holidays.

No matter the occasion, my ex was invited to it. After a while, I had enough and asked my parents to intervene. They were clear with my siblings and stopped inviting my ex to things or allowing him to tag along so much. It was slightly better, but while my brother backed off, my sister didn’t.

It all came to a crash when I met my husband during a semester abroad. He was from another university but the same country, and we just clicked. It was magical for me, and we got engaged after dating for a year.

My family was very happy for me, except my sister. She kept insisting I was in the honeymoon phase and will grow out of it. I clearly didn’t. After many, many, many—can’t express enough how many—fights and attempts to reunite me with my ex, I simply let her know.

If she pulled anything again, I will stop talking to her. What does she do after that warning? She makes me, her, and requests I spend all my time with the bridal party, AKA my ex. She also sets one of her friends as my husband’s date.

We didn’t realize until we were at the reception and the poor girl tried to make a pass at my husband.

My sister said that since we are not married, it was okay to explore things with other people.

I left the party and the next day spoke with my parents and brother. I explained that while I won’t make them choose, I will not talk to my sister ever again. If they try to fix stuff between us, I will simply cut contact with them too. My mom was devastated and tried to negotiate.

But my dad and brother said they would respect my decision. Apart from two attempts from my mom, I haven’t spoken, written, or anything with my sister in the past six years. My sister has tried everything to reconcile with me from gifts to tantrums, but I simply don’t talk to her at all.

If we are at a family event or dinner, I simply act like she doesn’t exist. At first, she made snarky comments or tried to create drama, but since nobody backed her up, she gave up. She did have a meltdown when she was informed she was invited to my wedding but would not be part of any preparation.

My brother says he feels guilty for going along with it for so long. His relationship with my ex has suffered since. They still talk, but they are not as closed anymore. My family tried to demand I get back with my ex.