Have you ever been backstabbed by someone you loved?

The Empty Victory

Soon after, everyone had seen what had happened to Sophie and how bad of a person she was. They didn’t want anything to do with her. Our friend group eventually would start hanging out without her and stop inviting her to birthday parties.

Ryan and I started talking after he broke up with Sophie and I told him how sorry I was that she had treated him so wrongly. He thanked me for being a real friend to him and asked me out for brunch. I kindly agreed and gave him a cute smirk.

For a while I felt that I had won. I had shown her that she couldn’t destroy my life without facing the consequences. But as time went on, something started to shift inside me. The satisfaction I felt began to fade, replaced by a growing sense of emptiness.

I became obsessed with her downfall. Every day I checked to see if there was more news, more signs of her crumbling life. But the more I watched her, the more I realized how much I had sacrificed in my quest for revenge.

Eventually Ryan stopped talking to me because he said that every time we went on a date I was so focused on speaking about Sophie instead of trying to get to know him more as a person and see if we were a good match.

I also should mention throughout this I had gotten a new job, one I was very qualified in and expected myself to do well.

But the problem was that my work performance had plummeted because I was using every waking second thinking about what Sophie had going on instead of how I could better the marketing strategy for the new business I was working for. I was isolated, angry, and bitter, much like the person I had destroyed.

I was watching a show in my living room to escape the harshness of reality and saw my reflection looking back at me from the black screen. I had won the war, but at what cost?

One day I saw Sophie. She was sitting alone at a coffee shop and staring at her phone. She looked tired and worn out. She didn’t see me and I didn’t approach her, but something inside me twisted as I watched her.

She looked so small, so fragile. She wasn’t confident or half as vibrant a woman I had once called my best friend. She was a shell of herself, and for the first time I didn’t feel victorious. I felt empty.

I had gotten my revenge, I had ruined her life, but in the process I had ruined my own. Reflecting on everything, I realized how consuming revenge could be. It ate away at me and turned me into someone I didn’t recognize.

I used to think that taking her down would make me feel again and that I would get my life back when she paid for what she’d done, but I was wrong.

Revenge was a poison, and I realized that it doesn’t just destroy your enemy, it destroys you too. I’ve lost her, I’ve lost myself, and I’m left wondering if it was all worth it.