Have you ever broken up with someone because of their family?

Confrontation and First Breakup

I had no intention of breaking up with her, but they wouldn’t understand. I went upstairs to talk to Sarah on the phone. I knew I still wanted to date her, but I wasn’t ready for marriage yet. She picks up the phone and seems happy. I asked her how her day was, and she told me it was great.

She and her parents were looking online for wedding dresses. I felt a lump in my throat. I told her that was great and that I was glad she was happy. We continued talking about our day, and then I asked her if it would be cool if I came over the next day, and she said:

“Yeah.”

I had to tell her parents how I felt before they had gone too far. We said our goodbyes, and I began thinking of ways to convince her parents in the bathroom mirror for what felt like hours.

The next day when I felt I had perfected my argument, I went over to Sarah’s. Her parents greeted me at the door and told me to come in. I asked where Sarah was, and they told me she was upstairs and would be down shortly.

My heart started beating a little bit faster as I asked them if I could speak to them while we waited for Sarah.

Her dad said:

“Sure son. Hit Me With Your Best Shot.”

I started by saying how Sarah was a lovely girl and how I enjoyed being with her. Then I told them that I felt it was too soon for marriage. In that instant, I saw her dad’s face ball up. I continued speaking.

I told them that I would love to continue to date their daughter with the hopes of marriage, but I couldn’t get married at that moment. They asked if I planned to leave their daughter, and I said that I didn’t. But they accused me even more.

They said that I just wanted her for her body, and if I planned on being with her, then marriage now shouldn’t be an issue for me. I felt the rage coming from every angle. They treated me like I set their house on fire.

They told me that I would marry their daughter now and that this was the end of the discussion. I tried to tell them again that I wasn’t ready and how they should possibly build a relationship with my parents first to see if that’s a household they’d want to blend.

But they weren’t hearing it. They were convinced that we were getting married. My blood was boiling, and I started seeing red. They were forcing me to marry a girl I had dated for 2 weeks. They weren’t being logical in this decision and were just obsessed with doing it the right way.

To avoid being disrespectful, I excused myself and went home. I texted Sarah that I was sorry that I couldn’t see her that day and would come back once I cooled off. She said she understood.

I asked her if she could come over the next day because the last thing I wanted to see was her parents. She agreed, and the next day came. She was at my door with her big smile. I asked to speak with her in my room, and as we walked upstairs, she told me that her parents had told her about our conversation the previous day.

I told her I wanted to ask her opinion on it, and she said she could see where they were coming from. She said they delivered it poorly, but the goal was still there: to get married.

I paused for a moment and turned around to look at her. I couldn’t believe what she was saying. I asked her if she felt comfortable marrying someone she’d only dated for 2 weeks, and she said again that it shouldn’t matter since we both plan on marrying each other anyway.

She tried to convince me of all the reasons why getting married wouldn’t be a bad idea. She argued that it would make us more financially stable in the long run and that we’d have a forever companion in one another. She was serious.

I asked her how long she had been thinking about this. That’s when she told me she was thinking about it when she saw me at church and didn’t want to scare me off. She said she and her parents would always notice how nice and caring I was at church to her and that she needed a husband like that. She had been plotting on me while I waited for her to be my girlfriend.

I said it would be wild to get married right now and tried to explain all the reasons that I had presented to her parents. But her choice was made; she was determined to be with me. I told her I couldn’t do it anymore and was over the relationship.

I could hear my dad’s voice from the other day telling me that I would regret being in this relationship, and I honestly had. She called me selfish and said her parents were right about me. She said I only wanted to play with her emotions, and I told her that wasn’t the case.

I wasn’t ready for marriage, and I felt like I was being forced into it. She didn’t care and stormed out of the house.