I Loved My Fiancée, but When She Refused a Prenup and Her Daughter Demanded to Be in My Will

The Engagement and the Red Flags

I loved my fiancée, but when she refused a prenup and her daughter demanded to be in my will, I walked away from them both. Hello Reddit I plus here.

This is something I’ve kept to myself for over a year now. I didn’t talk about it when it happened because honestly I felt stupid and used.

But I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately that hit a little too close to home. And maybe writing this out will help me finally put it behind me.

I, 39 at the time, now 40, was engaged to a woman named Andrea, 36 when we met. We were together for about 3 years, lived together for two, and we were supposed to get married last fall.

Andrea had a 13-year-old daughter, Zoe, from a previous marriage. Her ex-husband wasn’t really in the picture.

She told me early on that he was emotionally neglectful and that he wasn’t reliable when it came to co-parenting. I never pushed for details.

I figured if she was trying to move on and build something new, she deserved that chance. I met Andrea at a charity gala my coworker dragged me to.

She was easy to talk to, low-key, didn’t drink, and had a calm vibe. I liked her right away.

We had dinner a few days later and things just took off from there. For some background, I own a small but successful tech company I started in my late 20s.

I sold most of my stake in it a couple of years ago. I’m not rich rich, but I have solid assets, a couple of investment properties, savings, and zero debt.

I drive a modest car, live in a paid-off home, and I’m not flashy. I mention this only because it becomes relevant later.

Andrea and I moved in together about a year after dating. Zoe moved in a few months after that.

I tried my best to be supportive without overstepping. I paid for Zoe’s new laptop when hers broke and converted my office into her room.

I helped with her school projects and drove her to music lessons twice a week. I never tried to act like her dad, but I treated her with respect.

Things were good for a while. I proposed to Andrea on her birthday with a simple dinner, just the three of us.

She cried and said yes. Zoe seemed genuinely happy.

For a few months it felt like everything was finally clicking into place. Then came the prenup conversation.

I brought it up gently and told her my lawyer could draw up something standard. I wasn’t trying to be cold; I just wanted to protect what I had built before we met.

I was even open to splitting anything we built together during the marriage. I offered a reasonable clause about spousal support depending on the length of the marriage.

Honestly, it was fair. Andrea flipped and said I was planning for divorce and didn’t trust her.

She called it insulting and said she wasn’t some kind of gold digger. She couldn’t believe I’d even bring it up.

I tried to talk it through, but every time I did she’d shut down or start crying. I let it go for a while.

I didn’t want to ruin things, but I couldn’t shake the feeling in my gut. Then Zoe came to me one evening.

Andrea was out with friends and she said completely straight-faced: “I think I should be in your will.”

I blinked, thought I misheard her. She said something like, “You’ve basically been like a second dad and I think it’s only fair.”

I was thinking maybe the lake property or one of the apartments. I was floored.

She was 14 at this point. I tried to keep my voice calm and told her that wills and estate plans are personal.

It wasn’t something I was ready to talk about with her. She rolled her eyes and said: “Mom said you’d probably act weird about it again.”