My best friend “accidentally” ruined my life, so I “purposely” ruined hers.

The Self-Harm and Paternal Conflict

I remember in one of the messages, she screeched that she will take her own life if I don’t talk to her. She said she is going to write a note blaming me.

She was saying her death was my fault and that everyone will hate me for the rest of my life. It’s really up.

I know to you guys it might seem obvious that she was crazy and I had every right to be mad. But when you’re actually in a situation this heartbreaking, it’s almost impossible to see clearly.

So, I ended up confiding in a mutual friend to see if I was being a bee. But turns out this friend didn’t care about me either.

Not only did she give me one-word replies the entire time, but she also ended up spreading the word about what happened. The gossip spread like wildfire.

Obviously my ex- best friend quickly found out I told someone. I knew because one day I heard she posted a photo of herself crying on her Snapchat story. Honestly, I figured it was just for attention.

Little did I know the truth was much darker than I thought. I remember I was about to go shower when I got the news.

She tried to take her own life. She took her dad’s shotgun and aimed it at her head.

Fortunately, it wasn’t loaded and she couldn’t figure out how to load it. So instead, she tried to OD.

It was heartbreaking. My face went ghost white. I couldn’t even catch my breath.

I just sat there hugging a pillow and rocking back and forth. My best friend attempted to take her life, and I don’t care. She deserves it.

I haven’t and won’t even reach out. The thing is, I didn’t visit her in the hospital.

I didn’t send any messages to her family. Her older sister began messaging me, telling me I’m a heartless bee for leaving her at her lowest.

I didn’t respond to her either. So, she took a different approach. She messaged my mom.

That was a can of worms I did not want to open. My mom was a notorious cheater in her own day.

I just knew that she would try to go to whatever lengths needed to justify what my best friend did and get me to forgive her. Update one month later.

Okay, from now on, I’m giving fake names. The exbF is Nikki.

Her older sister is Tammy. XBF is Josh. I’ll name anyone relevant as I go.

As I expected, Tammy messaged my mom and that led to my mom trying to pressure me into forgiving Nikki. You were right.

She came over to my dad’s that evening and wanted a private conversation. She asked if I’d spoken to Nikki yet. I said no.

I was trying to be as firm as possible because I knew what she was about to do. This is where things started going south.

My mom told me to stop holding a silly grudge and I need to be there for her. To understand what I said next, you have to know that I was sick of everyone taking her side.

When she asked me, “Why can’t you forgive her?” I responded with, “What? like how dad should have forgiven you.”

For context, my parents divorced due to infidelity on my mom’s end, and it was far from just a one-time thing. My mom always believed dad should just forgive her.

After 10 minutes of arguing, I decided the conversation was over because we were heading into yelling territory. So, I told her to leave.

She was just about to head out the door, but then she turned around with her fists clenched. She was so angry that I could see the vein bulge on her forehead.

“Mom, what are you doing?” She unclenched her first, but still looking angry as ever said.

“I hope you’re not as cruel as your father”. I’m typically not angry, but this infuriated and hurt me.

I lived 50-50 between my parents. They both made sure I had everything I could need or want.

She felt her situation and struggles were undeserved. Dad never helped with bills or payments that didn’t involve me. She expected more. Cheaters always do.

I didn’t say anything when she left. I blocked her number and social media accounts and cried.