My ex-wife is about to be homeless and has asked to live with me and my son but ….

The Return of the Ancient Alien

Because my life was starting to look like a made-for-TV movie. But hey, at least I was out of the woods, or so I thought.

A year later, Petunia’s whirlwind European romance crashes and burns. She moves in with some mutual friends.

But surprise, surprise: her behavior doesn’t improve. Instead of trying to get back on her feet, she spends her days finding herself.

This seems to involve joining a new age cult and diving deep into the land of TikTok spirituality.

Now she thinks she’s an ancient alien sent to Earth to spread light and wisdom. You can’t make this stuff up.

And now, the twist. Just when I thought things couldn’t get stranger, Petunia calls me up a few days ago.

She asked if she could move in just for a few weeks. She says it is until her YouTube career takes off.

You can imagine the long pause I gave before responding. Yeah, I have zero faith in that career plan.

She told me she’d be homeless if I didn’t take her in.