My husband shockingly threatened divorce unless I quit my job for his mom; MIL: obey orders!

The Weight of Expectations

My name is Nancy and I’m 35 years old. I met Jerry at work 4 years ago, and we both decided to quit our job when we got married.

Initially, I was keen to continue working, but Jerry preferred that I stay at home so I became a full-time housewife. Even though I miss working, I eventually found myself longing to return to work. After many discussions, I managed to secure a part-time position.

I recently started a part-time job at a local supermarket. Jerry and I have been trying to start a family but haven’t had any luck yet. I also really wanted a cat, but Jerry dislikes cats so I had to let go of that idea.

Initially, Jerry was content with me staying home, but he became increasingly upset when I started working part-time. He began to nitpick everything at home.

“You went to work again today, huh?” “It looks like the house is getting Messier.” “Are the clothes all wrinkled in the laundry? You’re not keeping up with the housework,” Jerry would complain.

That wasn’t true. I had finished all the cleaning before going to work, and the laundry was done perfectly.

“What are you talking about? I’m doing everything just as I used to. It’s clean, can’t you see?” I responded, frustrated by his accusations.

He even complained about the meals.

“Fried chicken again? Can’t you cook something different?” he grumbled.

I didn’t even make fried chicken that often and tried to keep our meals varied, especially since I knew it was his favorite.

“I put effort into making your favorite fried chicken and I make a variety of dishes,” I defended myself.

But every time I tried to explain, he just got angrier.

“Are you saying you’re too busy because of your part-time job? You’re just pretending to be busy.” “Don’t act like your job is important when it barely pays anything,” he scolded.

“You’re only working because you’re selfish.” “Your earnings were fine to begin with.” “Make sure you do the housework properly.” “Don’t make excuses about not having time.” “It’s embarrassing to work so hard for such a low wage,” Jerry berated me.

He insisted that he wanted me to be a housewife so people wouldn’t think we were struggling financially. His words were harsh and hurtful, reflecting his dissatisfaction with my desire to work. Jerry constantly belittled my part-time job, boasting about how his earnings were more than enough to cover our expenses.

Being subjected to such cruel words every day was unbearable and often left me furious. However, an opportunity to step away came when we decided to visit Jerry’s parents, whom we hadn’t seen in a while. Despite my ongoing annoyance with Jerry, I welcomed the change of scenery.

After a few hours’ drive, we arrived at his mother’s house, where she lives alone. She greeted us warmly, and after a dinner she prepared, Jerry left to play slot machines, leaving me to wash the dishes with my mother-in-law,. Her demeanor suddenly changed.

She wasn’t as calm as before and her face grew serious. As I made coffee, she sat down next to me with a grave look.

“Nancy, according to Jerry, you’re working part-time. Why do you need to work when he has a good job? Also, he says you’re neglecting the housework because of your job,” she stated, catching me off guard.

“That’s not true. I’m managing everything just fine,” I replied, surprised by her sudden confrontation.

“Oh,” my mother-in-law continued, a look of disbelief on her face. “I’ve heard from Jerry about how poorly you handle the housework. There’s no point in lying. He’s been dealing with it all by himself.”

“He’s exhausted from work and sadly he has to come home to a messy house.” “You’re not cooking proper meals, are you?” “Quit that part-time job. Your workplace won’t miss you; they can find someone else.”

“Your job is to take care of the house. Focus on supporting Jerry properly from now on and don’t embarrass yourself as Jerry’s wife,” her words reflected deep-seated traditional beliefs,.

She had married right after school, never worked a day, and fully embraced her role as a full-time housewife. Jerry was raised in a home where the wife’s duty was strictly domestic, influencing his expectations of our marriage.

However, my mother-in-law’s harsh words deeply wounded me. At my part-time job, I felt supported and valued, a stark contrast to what I experienced at home. It was a positive environment where I felt appreciated and relied upon.

Hearing such dismissive and demeaning talk about myself, suggesting I was useless, was heartbreaking. My efforts at work and home were significant, and it pained me to be so misunderstood and undervalued.

Learning that my mother-in-law, who knew nothing about my job, had been fed lies about me by Jerry was a shock. Despite my efforts to maintain our home meticulously alongside my part-time job, I was disheartened to discover that Jerry had been disparaging me behind my back.

I was working harder than ever, conscious of the demands of Jerry’s job and trying my best to support him. However, overhearing him and his mother speak poorly of me over the phone was a bitter pill to swallow. Initially, I found it hard to accept and felt deeply hurt.