My parents celebrated my ‘miracle’ sis on my birthday every year, but I snapped at 18.

Consequences and Finding Peace

My sister is completely miserable at boarding school. She hates the clothes, the rules, everything. She lies constantly but gets caught because there are cameras everywhere.

When our parents visit, she just screams at them for putting her there. From what I hear, she might be staying there until she’s 18. Part of me feels sorry for her because it’s not entirely her fault; she was just raised to be this way.

But another part of me is relieved that she’s finally facing consequences. My parents did pay to fix my car, at least.

In August, my grandfather found me a job with a friend of his. It was 40 miles away. He suggested I move out rather than commute. I was totally on board with that idea.

Finding my first apartment wasn’t easy. I had to get a credit card just to get approved for a studio, but I did it. I’ve been living on my own since September, and it’s been the most peaceful few months of my life.

My parents keep trying to contact me, but I rarely talk to them. When we do speak, it’s just awkward and uncomfortable. My grandfather thinks they’re just trying to ease their own guilt by getting me to forgive them. I’m not ready to forgive them anytime soon.

I’m finally happy away from them, and I’m not going to let them ruin that now. They’ve got nothing. They don’t have me, and they don’t have my sister. They had to take more hours at work because boarding school isn’t cheap. Neither was that makeup party or fixing my car.

They have an empty house, angry relatives, and nothing but work. I don’t take any pleasure in their misery, but it is the result of their own actions. They had 8 years to fix things, and they chose not to until it was too late.

My sister attempted several things in order to get out of boarding school after my previous post. After none of her lies and schemes got her anything, she tried to simply do nothing, but that didn’t work out.

Then she tried a hunger strike. She said she would refuse to eat anything unless our parents came and took her home. My mother nearly jumped in the car to go rescue her baby, but my father had to stand in her way and remind her my sister’s behavior was their fault.

My sister’s hunger strike didn’t even last 2 days before she was demanding food in the cafeteria. She wasn’t allowed sweets or snacks unless they were healthy. A pediatrician warned my parents that my sister was at risk of future diabetes and possibly having her growth stunted unless she ate foods with proper nutrients.

My sister tried becoming a bully to the other girls in the boarding school, but they didn’t take her crap. One day she picked a fight and got beaten up pretty badly when she was set upon by multiple other girls at once. They kicked her until they were broken up by a teacher.

She didn’t suffer any serious injuries but was scraped and bruised all over. She blamed everyone else but herself and stated that the other girls should just do as she says. They did not, so she was shunned by them.

She had quite the tantrum over it. She’d got her way with everyone for so long that it was mentally inconceivable for her to not get what she wanted.

My mother repeatedly snuck junk food to my sister at the boarding school, and my sister got caught with it. My parents had a huge fight about it, but my mother didn’t try to sneak her any more junk food once the jig was up. My sister was and still desires to be a junk food addict. She’s barely changed in the past year.

Her schemes to get out of boarding school only escalated after only a few months there. She resorted to self-harm to try and get her way. She somehow got her hands on a knife in the cafeteria and stood on a table threatening herself with it unless they gave her candy and sent her home.

Yes, she didn’t just demand to be sent home; she wanted candy too. At some point she slipped and fell off the table. The resulting fall broke her left arm, her clavicle, and she had a forehead concussion.

At this point even the boarding school had enough of her and didn’t want her to return once out of the hospital. In fact, her attempt at ending herself only landed her in a worse place: a mental ward for children.

She’s been forced into therapy and diagnosed with a heavy case of narcissism. She cannot leave the ward unless my parents take her out. They’ve also forced her to continue her schooling from there and keep to a very strict healthy diet. It could literally be described as her personal hell.

My mother wanted to go to the ward and get her precious baby out, but she and my father got in a huge fight about it. In that fight, she hit him with the nearest thing she could grab, which happened to be a bottle that was on the kitchen counter.

The bottle broke on his face, cracked his cheekbone, and cut him up pretty badly. Police were called, and he had to be taken to the hospital while my mother had to be carted away in the back of a police car.

My mother ended up getting psych evaluated and committed for several months herself. She was forced to confront her own fierce desires to enable my sister. Turns out it stems from serious mental traumas my mother had from her own childhood. No one else knows or will tell me anything more than that.

There was and still is talk of future divorce for my parents. But neither of them have gone any farther than sleeping in separate bedrooms so far.

My 19th birthday wasn’t that long ago. My grandparents threw me a party at a restaurant they know I like. My parents attended, and so did my sister. She was briefly allowed time out of the ward.

I could see the pure bitterness in her eyes. She sat there looking just like before: lip curled and glaring at me like she wanted me to be on fire. She lost a fair bit of weight by then since she hadn’t been allowed junk food for so long.

Her diet plan is going to keep on for some time to come. The junk food for my birthday party was the first she’d had in a pretty long time. But she still couldn’t stand not being the center of attention.

This time when I blew out my candles, she did not scream. Instead, she began ugly crying. I can tell you right now that this was just more of her manipulation. She was just crying and saying “why” over and over again.

I know she’s only nine, but remember last year she was eight and demanding a car of her own just because I was gifted one at 18. She can’t even get a learner’s permit till she’s 15.

At my 19th birthday, my sister got on the floor to tantrum that there was no pizza, no gifts for her, no prizes, no nothing. Then she started cursing at our parents before trying to storm out of the restaurant.

She was basically trying to copy what I did last year in her own twisted way. My parents just apologized to everyone and then took my sister home early.

My grandfather went over to speak to them, but not before. I got some details from my grandmother later. He told them that they better not take my sister to party elsewhere or give her what she wants. This will never end if they don’t stop for good after that.

My sister was taken out kicking and screaming because she’d heard everything and realized her tantrums didn’t work. She was driven back to the ward the next morning, and that’s where she is now.

I have no idea how much longer she’ll be there. She’s just a kid, but the most stubborn one I’ve ever seen. She’ll likely not change until she reaches her lowest point. Until then, she’s going to be stuck in a place that does no enabling of her demands.

No one, not even my parents, has attempted to put any blame on me for my sister’s actions this past year. They’ve had to accept that I had zero fault in this. They raised my sister to be a narcissist, and enabling a narcissist is also a form of addiction from what I’ve seen and heard.

I’m doing well on my own. I admit I had to learn to properly budget and take care of all my own necessities. It’s not easy to adult, but it’s still a thousand times better than the life I’d be living with my parents and sister.

I was doing fine, if not pretty decent. I admit it’s been hard to adult, paying my bills, learning to manage my finances and all that, but I was fine. Then somehow my coming back to Reddit to talk about this has made me stressed.

I guess I’m mentally relapsing; I’m not sure what the term is. I thought I was all good, but now I’m edgy and cynical all the time. My boss even sent me home early for the day because of it. They’re well aware of my past.

I still feel terrible; just having coffee this morning set my heart pounding. I think I’m going to have to search local support groups for free counseling or something. I’m on a budget after all.

For the moment, I’m just trying to relax and take my mind off life. I might end up stressed like this all over again if I return here someday, so I may not. I thank everyone who read my posts and understood my pain.