My Stepdaughter Said, ‘You’re Not My Real Dad, and You Never Will Be So I Stopped Paying

A Decade of Dedication

My stepdaughter said, “You’re not my real dad and you never will be.” So I stopped paying for everything and walked away.

Hello Reddit Eyes Plus here. I, 42, was married to my wife Marlene, 41, for 10 years.

We recently separated and a big part of that was because of her daughter, my stepdaughter Ava, 17. I met Marlene when Ava was seven.

Her dad was already mostly out of the picture. He’d left when Ava was a toddler and barely stayed in touch.

He’d call a couple times a year and send the occasional gift that usually showed up weeks late. He visited maybe once every 18 months, if that.

From the start I made it clear I wasn’t trying to replace her dad, but I was there if she needed me. I bonded with Ava slowly.

It wasn’t instant, but it felt genuine. I helped her with homework, taught her to ride her bike, and stayed up all night when she had the flu.

When she was about 9 or 10, she started calling me dad on her own. I never pushed it, but when she said it I remember smiling so hard I thought my face would crack.

I asked Marlene a few years into our marriage if I could adopt Ava. I felt like I had earned the title and I loved her like she was mine.

But her biological father refused to terminate his parental rights. Marlene didn’t push the issue and honestly I let it go because I didn’t want to cause drama.

I figured Ava knew who showed up every day. Over the years I paid for everything, including her school tuition and private school because Marlene wanted better education options.

I paid for clothes, braces, summer camps, you name it. Marlene went part-time at her job around year three of our marriage and I picked up the financial slack without a second thought.