Veterans of War, what was it like to come home?
The Dark Abyss
I left the apartment and went to the liquor store. Days turned into weeks, and I could feel myself losing control over my life.
I spiraled into a dark abyss. The PTSD I’d fought so hard to control took over, and I drowned my sorrows in alcohol.
Abigail had been my lifeline, and now she was gone. She was the only stability I’d known.
It was my best friend Mark who found me one night in a dingy bar. We had served together in the military and grown close.
He didn’t say a word when he saw the state I was in: the empty bottles, the mess. He simply hauled me to my feet and took me to his place.
I resisted at first, but Mark stayed by my side. He didn’t lecture me or anything like that.
He just stayed there with me until I could sober up a bit. The withdrawal was brutal.
My body jerked and trembled at night. I would often wake up in cold sweats.
I craved the numbness I felt when I drank. I was tired of having to deal with my emotions.
With Mark’s help, I started to piece my life back together. It wasn’t easy, and every day was a struggle.
The cravings didn’t disappear. The pain didn’t magically go away.
I learned how to manage my PTSD better, but I found a glimmer of hope in the routine. Months passed, and I was starting to feel like myself again.
I went to the mall on a Saturday. As I approached the shoe store, I saw a familiar figure out of the corner of my eye.
I almost didn’t believe it at first, but there she was: Abigail. She was standing outside a baby clothing store holding the hand of a man who could only be the father of her child, the man she had chosen over me.
It had been months since I’d seen her, and the shock of her appearance hit me like a punch to the gut. Abigail looked awful.
The vibrant woman I had loved was nowhere to be seen. Her hair, once so beautifully kept, hung limply around her face.
Dark circles were around her hollow eyes. Her shoulders slumped, and her clothes seemed to hang off her.
The man beside her, who I assumed was the father of her child, looked impatient. His grip on her hand was firm and possessive.
He was tall with a stern expression, his gaze focused elsewhere, seemingly oblivious to Abigail’s apparent distress. As they moved through the crowd, he walked a step ahead, pulling her along rather than walking beside her.
I stood there stuck in that spot, my heart aching at the sight. Seeing her like this stirred something deep within me.
She wasn’t happy; she was suffering just as I had. The man glanced back at her; he looked irritated, and I couldn’t help but feel angry.
Our eyes met briefly for a moment. Abigail seemed happy to see me.
She quickly looked away, however, her hand tightening around the man’s, but not before I saw the silent plea in her eyes. Her look spoke volumes.
I watched them disappear into the crowd as I made my way back to my car. I couldn’t shake the feeling that our paths had crossed for a reason.
I felt like this was another opportunity to help me, to show my love for her. It hurt me to see her like this, and I knew I could make it better.
That night I went for a run. After I got back, I saw her name light up on my phone.
She texted me. My heart raced as I opened it.
I was shocked, but felt a tingle of joy that I hadn’t misread her eyes at the mall earlier that day. She sent a long text expressing how sorry she was for cheating on me and how she wished she never had this guy’s baby or married him.
I told her that I forgave her, and she asked, “If we could meet up later that week.”
I agreed. A couple of days went by, and we met at a quiet cafe. As soon as she saw me, she burst into tears.
She told me about how he treats her and how she thought she was doing the right thing by not forcing me to be the father of someone else’s child, but ended up trapped in a nightmare. She had been my world, and seeing her like this broke my heart all over again.
I decided to take care of it, promising her she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. She asked if we could get back together, but I said no.
The only reason I agreed to help her was just wanted to prove to her that I still loved her and that the loyalty we had over the years hadn’t died.
