What’s the biggest bullet you’ve ever dodged?

The Hospital Visit

A few days later, I got a call. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I answered it anyway.

“Hello,” I said.

“Is this you?” a woman’s voice asked.

“Yeah, who’s this?”.

“My name is Nurse Daniels,” she said. “I’m calling from the hospital. Trisha was admitted to our psychiatric ward. She’s been asking for you. She won’t calm down unless she sees you”.

I was quiet for a moment. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to hang up and forget everything that happened. Another part of me felt like I needed to go. I needed to see her to make sure she was okay.

“I’ll be there,” I said finally.

When I got to the hospital, a nurse met me at the front desk. She led me through a series of locked doors, each one closing with a heavy thud behind us. The sound echoed in the long, empty hallways, making my heart race.

Finally, we stopped outside a small room with a thick window. Trisha was inside, sitting on a bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. She looked so small and scared. When she saw me, her eyes widened.

She jumped up and ran to the door, but it was locked. She banged on the glass, shouting my name. The nurse opened the door, and Trisha ran to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what happened. Please forgive me”.

I stood there, not knowing what to do. I wanted to push her away, but I also wanted to comfort her.

“It’s okay,” I said quietly. “It’s okay”.

She pulled back and looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I know I messed up, but I love you so much. Please don’t leave me”.

I took a deep breath.

“Trisha, I can’t do this,” I said. “You need help, real help. I can’t be the one to save you. You have to save yourself”.

She nodded, tears streaming down her face.

“I will,” she said. “I promise. I’ll do whatever it takes, just please don’t give up on me”.

I looked at her, my heart aching. I didn’t know if I could do this, if I could keep seeing her, but I also knew I couldn’t just leave her like this.

“I won’t give up on you,” I said finally. “But you have to get better. You have to do this for yourself”.

She nodded again, her grip on my arms loosening.

“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll try. I promise I’ll try”.

I visited Trisha every week after that. At first, it was hard; she was still upset, still scared. Slowly, she started to get better. She started to smile more, to talk more.

She told me about her therapy sessions, about how she was learning to control her emotions, to deal with her anger and fear. I could see the change in her. She was still the same person, but she seemed calmer, more at peace.

She wasn’t perfect, but she was trying; she was getting better. One day she told me she was getting released. I didn’t know how to feel about it. I was happy she was doing better, but I was also scared. I didn’t know if I was ready for her to be back in my life full time.

“I want to try again,” she said softly. “I know I messed up, but I want to make things right. I want to be with you the right way this time”.

I looked at her, unsure of what to say. I cared about her, but I didn’t know if I could trust her again.

“I don’t know, Trisha,” I said finally. “A lot happened. I don’t know if we can just go back to how things were”.

She looked down at her hands, her shoulders slumping.

“I know,” she said quietly. “I don’t expect everything to be perfect. I just… I want a chance, a chance to show you I’m better now. Please”.

I thought about it for a long time. I thought about everything that had happened, all the pain and fear. But I also thought about the good times, the times when things were good between us.

I thought about the girl who gave me my first kiss, the woman who was trying so hard to make things right.

“Okay,” I said finally. “But we take it slow. No rushing into things. We do this right”.

She nodded, a small smile on her face.

“Okay, slow. I can do that”.