What’s the shadiest thing that a family member has ever done to you?

The Truth and The Showdown

My sister kept berating me about the venue. She said that I was being unfair, that she is family, and that she asked nicely because she loves me. She sent me a huge text about us being family and how I should have her back and not be so selfish.

The only text I sent back was this: “I am sorry that you perceived it that way”. “I am sick and tired of bending to your will”.

“My whole life I have been your servant and your doormat”. “Remember all the birthdays I had to share with you because you would throw a tantrum because you didn’t get presents?”.

“Or when you cried so that I would fill out job applications for you because you were literally too lazy to write your own CV, and Mom supported you in doing that?”. “But the thing that has hurt me most till now is when you ruined my graduation”.

“Remember how you said it wasn’t unfair I was getting the entire spotlight, and you wanted in on the celebration?”. “So you took it upon yourself to wear the most expensive dress our parents could buy you”.

“How you made a cake for yourself and hung up balloons for yourself too, insisted to be included in every picture I took”. “I am done”.

“I admit that I also spoiled you, but I will not any longer”. “If you want to marry so badly before your baby is born, then you could look at a different hotel that offers last minute weddings”.

“I have spent too much time planning my wedding to gift it to you”. “And if you want to ruin our relationship over this, then go ahead”. “I will sleep sound and safe knowing that it wasn’t my fault”.

She only sent me: “wow you must love me so very much” and blocked me. She unblocked me this morning to send me this: “wedding planner hello dear I got the message from your mother and we’ll proceed with the rebooking of the venue on the spot however this will have extra costs as we have to change the names on the contract please come by my office tomorrow so we can sign the new contract”.

My parents haven’t actually written to me since the thing with my father-in-law. My older brother contacted me and wanted to know what happened because he got a weird story from Mom and Dad. Mom had told him that I had offered previous to the BBQ to give up the venue to my sister and that I humiliated her.

I told him what really happened, and he had no problem believing me. We talked a lot about our parents’ behavior. He confessed that him moving was partly due to our parents being jerks to us. He told me that Mom had gotten mad at me for betraying my family.

We called my planner, and she was actually really horrified. She told me she had never talked to my mother since the day we went to book the venue. She assured me that even if they were to call and say that I wanted it, I had to be present to make any changes.

So we informed everyone that will work for us on our wedding, and they offered to hire security for that day at a reduced price.

My sister is now briging against me on Facebook, making constant passive aggressive remarks and claiming I have made her depressed. I have received many messages from her friends saying that I am beached for treating her that way. I blocked every attempt at online harassment and my sister as well.

Two days ago, my sister’s best friend egged my car. I called the police, and my neighbor, whose hobby is to look outside the window and spy on people, identified them. She is a grumpy lady but actually very lovely once you get to meet her.

After not talking to my parents in several days, they called and asked if we could talk things out. I was wary but agreed to meeting them with my fiancé in our apartment.

When they arrived, you could tell my mom had been crying, and I honestly felt bad for 10 whole minutes. Turns out my sister is just an eye hole—no medical history, no diagnosis, nothing.

We started chitchatting awkwardly, then we began talking about the matter. My father first asked us why we canceled the caterers. My fiancé responded that we didn’t want to have anything they could hold over our heads.

Dad acted offended and said he would never do that. To which I said, “Better safe than sorry”. My mother continued with calling me disrespectful for talking in that manner to them.

I called them disrespectful for all what they had said and done over the last few days. We got in a heated argument about the venue again.

My father repeated the “it doesn’t matter where you you get married but the person you are marrying” bull crap. Finally, I gave him the comeback: “Yes, Dad, exactly, but isn’t it weird how that only applies to me and not my sister?”.

“As long as she is marrying brother-in-law, it doesn’t matter where, right?”. It was quiet, and my father was red like a tomato and gasping for air like a fish on land.

My mother was quietly crying again, so I said, “Well, I am waiting for your reasoning”. My father slapped his hands on the table and went on a rant about family and sacrifices.

He ranted about how a loving family should do what’s in their power to make each other happy. I just responded, “Like how you tried to make me happy on my graduation day?”. “You know about the time my sister smashed my cake because she wasn’t in the Limelight?”.

Quiet again. My mother quietly said, “Why do you hate us so much?”. I looked at her and said, “I could ask you guys the same thing”.

Again, nothing. My parents knew that they had messed up, but they were not ready to admit it.

My mother tried to guilt trip me, saying that my sister is miserable, that she hasn’t gone out in days because people judge her so much. My father went on a tangent on how my little sister just needs more time and attention because she is the youngest. He was basically excusing her behavior.

I told them that I felt hurt because I now saw their blatant favoritism. They didn’t even try to conceal the fact that they loved my sister more. My mother tried to say, “that’s not true, we love you all the same”.

I wasn’t having it. I opened a list I had written on my phone where I had written every point I could remember about them putting my sister before me.

It was a very long list. Some had dates to it; some were more specific situations.

When I was finished, my parents were horrified, beat red, and near tears. They wanted to start explaining again how I was wrong, but I said that this conversation was leading nowhere.

They either set family counseling up for us and apologized to me, or they won’t be invited to the wedding. They left and haven’t called since.