Who is the family member you absolutely despise, and why?
Intervention and Ultimatum
Update one. I sat my father down as per my boyfriend’s request and tried to speak to him again. It ended up being the same as the previous times.
My partner’s father has heard of what’s been happening but never witnessed it until yesterday. My parents came over to visit again with no knowledge that my partner’s parents were there.
It was only a visit for planning my 21st birthday. My dad didn’t seem to care that there was a new member to the audience and started his joking around.
I was wearing a pair of tights which some of you know as leggings, as my sweats were dirty. I rarely wear tight clothes as it gives my father more fuel to his insults.
I was making coffee and he shouted, “Why are your thighs jiggling like that? Do you actually train?”. My mother laughed like it was the funniest thing ever and I heard a smack and my dad yelping straight after.
That’s a common thing between my parents, but it usually only happens in front of others. My future in-laws didn’t say anything, but I could see they were confused and annoyed.
After the next couple of pinches and comments, my partner’s dad lost it. He started berating my dad and told him that he’s a pathetic excuse for a father.
He told him that for all these years he had to ensure I was okay because he didn’t have a clue to raising a child. He said how sick he was for even thinking it’s okay to treat a daughter like that.
He made sure to tell him how he has damaged me mentally to the point of just accepting it. He mentioned how many times his son had to hold me until I cried myself to sleep over one of his jokes.
That went on for what seemed like forever, and my partner soon joined in. It ended up being turned to my mother who tried to switch sides again.
My partner’s mother is a good woman, but she has a nasty side, and she wasn’t afraid to show it. She is one woman you don’t want to upset.
She ended up saying that they either apologize and get the F out, or they no longer have a daughter. They apologized, but my dad still couldn’t see why it’s so wrong to joke.
“It’s what fathers do, apparently,” he claimed. I was crying during the extent of it and still am. I am not crying about the fight, but the fact that I know just how pointless it was.
I was right, as he came back today and gave me a bag with holes cut into it. He announced, “I got your birthday outfit! You won’t actually fit into a dress so I got this bin bag for you”.
He continued, “I even made the holes bigger for your arms and thighs too. Make sure to wear a belt”. I just froze in place and could only focus on his smirk.
I was still standing there, bag in hand, as he drove away later on today. I got a message from him related to my writing and art that he found. He started mocking that too.
He commented on how I wish I could be as perfect as the characters I come up with. I use writing drawing as a way to cope, and he is right.
I do wish I could be that perfect, that confident, normal, but I’m not. I’m a screw-up, he made that clear.
He made sure to let me know that I will never be as good, that I don’t have the gene that’s been passed down through generations.
Update two. I made my dad a gift basket with a note since he loves to read what I write so much and won’t bother listening in person.
This is what I wrote to him: “Dear Dad, since you like my writing so much, I decided to take the time and spell this out for you”.
“This basket contains many options to help you. I’ve noticed your body has lost its good shape and is honestly just not pleasing to look at”.
“So I have included many workout pamphlets and personal trainer contacts to help you with that. One in particular will surely help you with that stomach of yours”.
“I can only imagine your frustration having a daughter that is fitter than her father since you clearly love taking your frustrations out on me”.
“I highly recommend reading through the therapist contacts I have included in this basket”. “I will advise you to let Mom seek out these therapists too, as her backbone is non-existent and she lets awful men walk all over her”.
“Fun fact: 110 lbs for a woman that is 5 foot 3 is healthy, if not bordering on being underweight”. “However, 240 lbs for a man in his 50s and is just scraping 5’5 is concerningly overweight”.
“I would suggest taking care of that. I would hate for someone to start mocking you about it. It is very unpleasant”.
“Now, all pleasantries aside, this will be the last time you hear from me”. “This will be the last time I call you Mom and Dad”.
“Since I have all of my documents, I no longer need to converse with you”. “Your names have been taken off the guest list for my 21st that you so graciously refuse to help pay for”.
“If you do show up, I will have police escort you off the premises”. “If you show up at my new house or merely follow me to the store, it will result in the police being called”.
“If you continue this behavior, I will file a restraining order against both of you”. “If you would like a reason for this, you will have to find it yourself”.
“It is quite obvious, but since you are so focused on damaging me into submission, I fear you will never understand”. “That is not my problem”.
“Yes, you did bring me into this world, but you are not my parents”. “I have a family, and you will never be a part of it”.
“Please do take my advice and seek help. This is not a joke, Dad. Yours truly”. I know that the note was rushed and short, but it was all I was capable of writing.
My aunt’s phone has been blowing up, but she has ignored and blocked their numbers. She has even made sure to let the rest of our family know what has happened and why.
As far as I know, they have been getting berated and disowned. I can’t help but feel a little bit of pride.
