Choosing my own happiness is making me feel like the worst person in the world.

The Crossroads of a Kiss

But there is where it gets sad. I’ve fallen in love with him and the girls.

I haven’t felt like this since my wedding day. I tried squishing down my feelings at first.

Every time he made breakfast, every time he booped my nose, and every time the girls asked to play, my heart melted. I was getting used to feeling alive again.

Then last month, Jason came with news. His parents agreed to let him move into their house, and he and the girls were finally going to give me peace.

I remember my heart dropped. I congratulated him, but on the inside I was crying.

This is where I made the oopsy boopsy of a lifetime. He moved out last weekend.

Before he did, I made a huge goodbye dinner on their last day. I went all out, even making my late husband’s favorite meal.

I remember the girls ate dessert and got banana pudding on their nose. I was overcome with emotion.

This was the last day I would feel joy for likely the rest of my life. Then came time for them to go.

The three of them climbed into his car to go to their new home. Through the window I hugged him.

I held him for too long. In that exact moment, I leaned in and went to kiss him on the cheek.

He went to do the same, and we kissed on the lips. Neither of us pulled away until one of his girls made an e Screech.

I went red and mumbled something before closing the door. The day I got to my parents house I made a big mistake.

I kissed her. She freaked out, asked me to drop my key off later, and ran inside.

I remember he came back in the middle of the night and knocked, asking to talk. I didn’t open it.

He kept calling me and texting me, but I didn’t respond. I just cried, feeling like I had cheated on my husband.

I texted her and called her but she didn’t get back to me for a week. I looked through Jason’s texts and started reading them for the first time.

They went from him just asking me to talk to him, to him saying there was something we had and he didn’t want to lose. Finally, they went to him apologizing, and asking if we could return to being friends and just forgetting everything.