My sister used her husband’s death to get closer to my husband.

The Cycle of Destruction

I am deeply ashamed to write this and admit it but after Rick hung up that call the offer got more and more tempting.

I started thinking about it becoming enraged at my sister for doing what she did to me. I thought that I could get back at her by doing it.

I imagined throwing it in her face that her new boyfriend doesn’t love her more than me. I was so angry that I heavily considered doing it.

The more I thought about it the more I wanted to out of sheer Petty Revenge. Don’t get me wrong I also wanted my husband and my life back.

But the thought of seeing my sister’s new found happiness and smugness over me come crashing down gave me a pleasure that I never would have imagined.

My sister tried very hard to keep my contact with Rick limited. I think she was afraid he would come back to me if she didn’t.

She was only able to accomplish this for a few months. Rick tried to contact me in numerous ways during this time but it was always very brief.

I was still angry and non-receptive to his advances but he started becoming more and more aggressive. He started telling me how much he loved me, how much he missed me and how much he still wanted me.

I even tried blocking him on certain social media accounts but he kept trying on others. I know I should have just blocked him on everything but I just couldn’t. The more he tried the harder it was for me to say no.

Unfortunately, this resulted in us getting back together. I told him I wouldn’t stay with him unless he left my sister.

He swore to me up and down he loved me more than anything and facing losing me made him realize it. He swore my sister was nothing to him.

Everything was amazing between us again. It was like old times and like my sister didn’t even exist when he was with me. Yet every night he would go back to her.

Stupidly I decided to believe him when he said he was just waiting for the right time and excuse after excuse about bad he felt for her. Things felt so much better when he was back with me. I didn’t want to lose him again.

Unfortunately, I ended up getting pregnant because I did not recontinue my birth control from when we were trying for a child before any of this happened.

At the time we were both ecstatic and everything seemed like it was a dream come true. I had my husband back. We were having a child and my life was no longer in pieces.

I was so happy that I turned a blind eye to everything obviously messed up about the situation. I didn’t want to see it. I just wanted to stay happy.

It wasn’t long before Lisa found out and my entire family turned on me. My parents told me how it seems like I did this just out of retaliation and to hurt Lisa.

They weren’t completely wrong but I mainly just wanted my old life back. Long story short Lisa went absolutely berserk.

She threatened to un alive me and sent me a long list of never-ending harassing texts emails and calls. I endured hell from her and my family for months until I had to get a protective order.

This only resulted in my family hating me even more. Now none of them will speak to me and Rick has been issued an ultimatum by them to cut me off or be cut off.

He hasn’t decided on what he is going to do yet but it seems like he is leaning towards cutting me off as he has been communicating with me less and less these past weeks.

There has been mounting pressure from the family for him to finalize the divorce but it hasn’t happened for various reasons.

The last thing he told me was that he feels badly but that he loves her and passive aggressively insinuated that I tempted him into trying to get back with me.

This is complete bull crap because he was the one who kept perusing me. He said that I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant because now I’ve made his life so much harder.

How I let myself believe he was the man I married again is beyond me. Now all I see is how clouded my judgment has been and the utter mess I’ve gotten myself into.

How I wanted to be happy again so bad I destroyed my life even more trying to get that back. I’m 8 months pregnant and scared.

I don’t know how I can raise this baby alone. I really don’t want to give her up for adoption and the pain of losing my husband twice is unbearable even though I know it was because of my own stupidity.

I still love him and can’t believe everything he has done to me. Losing my entire family over this has also been a huge kick when I’m at Rock Bottom.

Most of our mutual friends have distanced themselves from us because no one wants to take sides. It’s obvious they are all quite disgusted with the way things have turned out. I have no one left now.