What’s your “nightmare mother-in-law” story?
The Vintage Key Collection
My crazy mother-in-law stole my vintage key collection, so I called the police and had her arrested. My wife threatened to leave me if I went through with pressing charges, so I filed for divorce myself, plus three updates. My mother-in-law is insanely entitled, and my wife’s enabling of her has made our marriage very hard.
Recently, she came to us wanting me to buy her a new phone because hers was two years old and out of date. She threw a fit when I refused, getting on the floor and pounding her fists against the hardwood. I still refused, so she got up and left, but not before yelling that she’ll be getting the phone now.
I have a collection of vintage skeleton keys that is worth a few thousand, and I kept them all in a locked display cabinet. Well, a few days ago, I came home to find the cabinet forced open and my entire collection gone. I checked the CCTV and saw my mother-in-law force the cabinet open with a crowbar.
I called her right away and demanded she return my collection, but she told me she sold everything at a pawn shop already and used the money for a new phone. She said it was my fault because I wouldn’t buy one for her.
My wife was seemingly on my side when I told her until I said I was going to the police. She begged me to drop it and even suggested I start a new collection. I refused to let it go because those keys are not only expensive, they’re irreplaceable. I spent ten years building that collection.
But my wife kept blowing up and telling me to just let it go. Now, to answer the questions before you ask: how did me get into the house? My wife unilaterally gave her a key when we moved in. That’s why.
Anyway, back to what happened that day. I eventually made up my mind and contacted the police. They came and took my statement a bit over an hour after I called the non-emergency line. I had video footage and the documentation of my collection ready.
And then there were some texts I went out of my way to get from MIL to bait her into a confession. I wanted as much evidence as possible so she couldn’t lie to the police. When I texted her demanding she get my collection back, she actually LOL’ed and told me:
“not a chance”
And even boasted that she thought I was a pathetic son-in-law and my key collection was tacky anyway. I told her to at least tell me what pawn shop she sold the keys to so I could go buy them back and how much they paid her for them.
And the dimwit admitted it all right away with glee in a text. I had everything I needed for the police before they even showed up. The cops took the whole matter more seriously than I thought.
I was worried they’d call it a civil matter since the thief was my mother-in-law and she had a key to the house, but they arrested MIL before long. Police went to the pawn shop before it closed to retrieve my collection.
I got it all back from police after a couple of days, and for the moment, I’ve put the collection in a safe, secure place that no one can get to. The pawn shop pretty much gave up the entire key collection to police right away, like it was a bag of hot potatoes.
Though I scrutinized every important key brought back, as far as I can tell, it’s all there. That was a huge sigh of relief. I took time off work and barely slept for two days because of this ordeal.
Also, the cabinet MIL broke into is pretty much a loss since she mangled the lock and doors prying it open. Thankfully, it wasn’t an antique and just something I got used for $50, so I’m just going to take it to the dump sooner or later.
From her texts before I found out, MIL sold the whole collection to the pawn for a whopping total of $300 for a collection of hundreds of antique keys valued at two to three grand. That low number felt like a punch in the gut to me.
Likely the pawn broker knew how valuable the collection could be as a whole. I mean, it’s not like hitting a jackpot or anything, but money is still money, especially when a dumb little lady walks in with a box of goodies. Anyone else hear Mr. Krabs laughing?
The cost of repayment to the shop was supposed to be on MIL, but my wife paid them back out of our joint account instead.
From what the shop owner said, MIL told them the key collection belonged to her deceased husband, and she was sick of the whole collection sitting in storage, so they believed her. Just to be clear, she’s not a widow; her husband divorced her and left the state around 15 years ago.
MIL lives off Social Security and food stamps. She also holds garage sales every few months, and she often demanded our soda and beer cans so she could get the deposit money recycling them.
MIL doesn’t drive; she gets around on an electric scooter that tows a bicycle trailer. She lives in a long paid-off house and she would not be having money troubles if she wasn’t overspending every month, and she always counts on my wife to pick up the slack when she comes up short.
My wife and I got in a huge fight when she got home because I had her mother arrested, but I told her I’m done with her enabling of her toxic mother. I said I was changing the locks as soon as possible and banning her mother from the house.
And I also said that either we got marriage counseling or I’d be inquiring about my options for separation from an attorney. I thought my wife would beg me not to do that, but instead she just called me:
“horrible”
Packed a suitcase and walked out to go to a motel. I just sat on the couch and let her go. She repeatedly looked like she was waiting for me to ask her to stay, but I didn’t.
In the morning, she texted me she’d be bailing her mother out and wanted me to transfer her the money to pay for it since I was the one who got her mother arrested. When I said no, all I got back was a sarcastic:
“wow Zia”
Not too long later, I had a gut feeling and checked the balance on the shared bank account, and my wife had taken out a lot of money. I wasn’t sure if all that was needed for bail, so I called the pawn shop later.
The owner confirmed my wife had come in and paid him back the $300 that he’d paid her mother for the keys. He was also quite angry and said he didn’t want any of us in his shop ever again.
I understood his anger and, weirdly enough, had a fairly long talk with this guy, and he understood I’m not part of the crazy. I tried to call and text my wife for hours, but she didn’t answer.
That evening I managed to find her. I knew which motel she’d likely go to, and I was right; it was both cheap and not far away. I found her car and then figured out which room she was in.
She looked positively shocked to see me when she opened the door. I confronted her about the money she’d used from our shared account. She basically said that since I refused to pay her mother’s bail after I was the one who had her arrested, she got the money from me another way.
Then smugly stated she wasn’t paying that money back into the shared account this time and told me:
“that’s the karma I get”
Before shutting the door in my face. Then said through the door she’d call the cops on me if I didn’t leave. The smug look she’d given me reminded me of nasty teenage girls when they get their way.
It really ticked me off. I already knew my marriage was pretty much over, but that night it really sank in. I had a long sit down with some old video games and cola to think about my future.
The house is rented, so I’m not renewing my half of the lease and will soon be apartment hunting. The last month of the lease is March, but I may leave sooner depending on how soon I can find an apartment. We have no kids yet, thank God, so that’s another thing I currently have in my favor.
The next day I changed the locks on the house and removed all of my money from the joint bank account and stopped all automated payments to and from it. I made sure to take only the amount of money I’d put into the account.
There was still more than enough in it for me to break even and still leave the minimum required balance on the account. Either way, the cost of MIL’s bail and paying back the pawn shop was now entirely out of my wife’s pocket now, and I don’t think she’s noticed yet, but it shouldn’t be long.
