What’s your “nightmare mother-in-law” story?
The Hoarding Report And Last Update
Update three: A few months ago, I anonymously reported my MIL as a serious hoarder. Someone here commented I should report my MIL’s hoarding to the fire marshal, and at the time, I decided to do it because I was angry and wanted to get back at her for stealing my collection from me and making my life hell.
MIL had been building a horde in her house since my wife was a teenager. The house was filled nearly to the brim with rotten garbage and was rodent-infested. I’ve actually seen rats there.
I made a call to the city from a number I Googled. At first, I thought nothing came of it as weeks went by, but I guess someone looked into it because MIL’s house was given an inspection.
The house was found to be in an even worse shape than I thought. It was not only a serious fire hazard to itself and everything around it and rodent-infested, there were also some exposed electrical wires, a roof leak that’s gone unfixed for years that caused bad rot damage and black mold.
The outside of the house didn’t look that bad, and it was in a neighborhood full of old houses that looked similar, which is likely why no one reported it till I did. Wifey figured out it was me who reported her mother, what with the timing and all.
She came home and ranted to me about all the things her mother told her the inspector found and how her mother was likely to lose her house now. But it was only a matter of time before something like that happened.
If I didn’t report her mother, someone else eventually would have. Wifey screamed at me that I was a horrible, deceitful person.
I asked her if she wanted to be the pot or the kettle, then reminded her of all the reasons why we were separating. I ended up losing my cool and ranted at her saying that her enabling of her mother caused this.
Her acting like her mother stealing my irreplaceable skeleton key collection I’ve spent a decade building wasn’t important caused this, and her selfish unilateral decision-making and bratty behavior ever since we got married caused this.
Couples are supposed to make decisions together; instead, she just kept making them for us both without even asking my input. So I made a unilateral decision of my own for once and reported her mother’s hoarding, which needed to be reported anyway because it’s a danger to her and the people around her.
I told wifey I was long sick of just sucking it all up all the time and just letting things pass while they acted like I was the bad guy and walked all over me. Her mother would get nothing more from me.
And maybe she wouldn’t be as crazy once she’s no longer living in a house filled with fumes of rotten garbage, rodent excrement, and black freaking mold. Wifey just walked away, sniffling and cursing me.
Yeah, I know I went too far. I’d been reduced to being just as petty as her. I made that call because I was angry, but I had no choice but to stand by that decision after I’d done it.
MIL ended up demanding wifey foot the cost of cleaning and restoring the house, but she couldn’t afford it. From what I heard, MIL went off on her with her demands and told her to get the money any way she could.
Even demanding I pay for it since I was the one who reported the house. She even said to sue me, but wifey told her it wouldn’t work. The house was in exceedingly poor shape: rotten garbage, exposed wires, roof leaks, rot, and black mold. No one should be living in that.
When wifey tried to tell her mother she couldn’t afford to pay for the house to be cleaned and renovated, her mother actually attacked her like a wild animal. She hit and scratched her multiple times and tried to pull her hair out.
That’s when it happened: MIL had a heart attack on the spot. Going ape on her daughter must have triggered it.
Wifey called 911 while looking for aspirin in the house, but by the time help had arrived, her mother had expired.
Wifey came home with a police officer in tow for some reason and was absolutely mad, screaming at me about what just happened to her mother. She said this was all my fault, and in all of her ranting, I found out her mother had a weak heart.
It’s the real reason why she was on disability. The officer had to separate wifey from me, and she fell onto the couch sobbing. I hated MIL with a passion, but I wasn’t trying to end her life. I still feel great guilt over this.
From what the police officer said and from what my ex-wife said, I pieced the story together and later typed it out, but just couldn’t bring myself to post it. I was still racked with guilt that evening when I found out my mother-in-law had passed away.
Wifey managed to calm down long enough to speak to the police officer more clearly about what happened, but she also kept shifting between blaming herself and blaming me.
I asked her from across the room why I was never told about her mother’s heart condition, and she yelled:
“it was none of my damn business”
But it explains why MIL used to dramatically put her hand on her chest and cry so many times when she wasn’t getting her way.
My soon-to-be ex-wife ended up going crazy in the bathroom she’d been using since we started sleeping separately. She asked the police officer for a moment to herself, then just went crazy after shutting the door.
She came out a few minutes later looking angry but calm, then told me:
“I was cleaning that mess up.” (Note: Retaining “I” as written in the source text.)
She packed her bags again and left the house for the motel once more and told me she wouldn’t be coming back unless it was to get her stuff.
I was so guilt-ridden that I was hardly able to function for days back then and had to take leave from work because of stress migraines. I basically spent three days on the couch hopped up on meds.
But after that I got my ass in gear again. My friends all tell me it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know, and MIL was crazy either way. What’s done is done, and I have to live with it.
