What’s your “Oh I should not have done that” story?
Healing and Rebuilding
With David out of my house, I called my son, Mark, to apologize for everything that I put him through. He was just as shocked as I was when he found out about his dad pinning him for stealing the medication.
But he said he understood where my assumptions came from due to his not-so-great history with stealing. I told him that he could move back into the house and that I would never kick him out again without having all of the facts.
I asked him when we could meet up to talk in person, and he told me he was free that weekend. That weekend, I brought him back home and we talked in the living room.
He expressed how hard it was to be kicked out so abruptly and how hard it was not to be trusted even when you’re doing everything right. I apologized for judging him and accusing him of taking the pills.
We had a real heart-to-heart, and I knew that we were on the right track to getting back as close as we were before the incident. After Mark moved back in, I had to schedule an urgent appointment.
One morning, I woke up in excruciating pain. The entire right side of my body was a bright cherry red, and I couldn’t move. I had to call for Mark to get me out of bed.
We went to the emergency room, and they gave me medicine for the pain and told me that the cancer had gotten worse since I had gone weeks without my meds. When they released me, they told me to get an immediate appointment with my primary care doctor.
When I met with her, she examined me and told me that I would have to get on a more aggressive treatment plan. We set schedules to come back and get treatment.
Before I left, she gave me a pamphlet of a grinning woman running in a field. I asked her what this was for, and she told me that there was a support group filled with women and that all the information on the group was inside.
She said her aunt had joined that group, and it helped her stay in good spirits while the treatments were taking place. I thought that a support group was just what I needed after being in the process of getting a divorce and not having many friends outside of my husband.
It would be a great opportunity to get out of the house. When I showed up to the church where the support group held their meetings, I didn’t see any other cars at first.
I was worried that I went to the wrong place until I saw a friendly face float out of the church to greet me. She told me that they had recently changed her hours and that I was just 30 minutes early, but I could come inside and get something to eat.
I agreed and followed her inside. She told me her name was Susan and that she was the first lady of the church. She had battled cancer in her previous years and she said that it was the support of the church that led her down the road to recovery.
That was why she started this cancer support group. She started asking me questions about my life and what brought me there. I told her about David and Mark and how I was just looking for a sense of belonging.
I thought that this was the exact place that I was looking for. When the rest of the women started flooding in, as time passed, it felt good to talk to them and join their community. I started coming to the cancer support group meetings every week.
I was excited to pull into the driveway at the church to see Susan and all the other women there. They gave me something to look forward to in life. They also had the latest scoop on the best professionals for certain types of cancers.
I was still in the process of getting treatments from one of my doctors when Susan told me the doctor that had aided her tremendously throughout the process was super affordable and that she had little to no debt after the treatment. That night, I went home and did some research.
I found that the woman she went to was cheaper than my current provider, and she had a five-star Google review. I decided to reach out to see if she had any openings.
During the support group meetings and the treatments, I tried to continue repairing the relationship that I had with Mark. I would continue to do things for him and talk to him, allowing a complete judgment-free zone to let all the feelings come out.
This had helped us grow our bond back. I told him that he could stay there as long as he needed and that I would always be in his corner until the end of time. We started therapy together.
Every evening, we’d cook dinner together. At first, it was just simple meals, but it was enough. Mark would tell me about his day, and I’d share stories from the women in my support group.
On weekends, we started taking walks around the neighborhood. At first, I couldn’t go far; my body was still weak from the treatments. Mark would slow his pace to match mine, and we’d walk in comfortable silence or chat about whatever came to mind.
It felt good knowing that my life was finally falling back into place. The divorce process was long and painful. David fought me at every turn.
He tried to take the house and me and Mark’s cars. He fought for the house and even wanted money from our accounts.
I had people from our friend group call me to ask me what was going on. When I asked them what they were talking about, they would say that David was going around telling people that I kicked him on the street and was divorcing him for another man.
I couldn’t believe the lies he was spreading. They said that I’d left him with nothing and forced him out of the house randomly. I told them that we were getting a divorce but would like to keep the reasoning private at that time.
They seemed to respect my wishes, but I could see how they treated me differently afterward. With the help of my lawyer, my son, and my support group, I finalized the divorce on terms that only benefited me.
I kept the house, the cars, and the money in our accounts and said to go live with his mistress if he needed some place to stay. I then told him that if he wanted to negotiate the terms, I could turn him to the police for his actions, and he backed down in an instant.
